You can find part one of this story here.
Well now that Piper is 5 months old, maybe I can bring myself to write this. For the first few months I couldn’t bring myself to write this part because I didn’t want to relive it. My baby is perfect and healthy and I hate that we had to go through this! I am finding that I am more at peace with this. I sometimes wonder how everything would have been if she would have just came out breathing and we would have been at home, comfortable and enjoying our little girl in those hours! BUT we didn’t, we had to go to the hospital and this is the story…
The ambulance ride to the hospital was very quick! We live close anyway so I think we were there in about 5 minutes or so. Piper screamed the whole way. I never thought I would be so happy to hear her cry. Blake followed behind in the car and the whole time I could see him out the back windows. I was feeling so terrible for him because he couldn’t be with us. As soon as we pulled into the hospital they whisked Piper off of my chest and out of my sight. Blake had to go to admitting and get the paper work started before he could be with me.
The doctor and nurse first started trying to get the IV running and after a few minutes of it not working decided to just take it out all together. Then they gave me a shot of Pitocin. Blake came in around this time as did his mother. The OBGYN who was there was one I had seen last year for a problem I was having. He is the only doctor in town right now and he is terrible. He has the worst manners I have ever seen. Last year he made very inappropriate jokes while examining me. They were bad enough that I could have filed some sort of compliant against him. Blake was even there when he said it. So I was not happy to see him at this time! He immediately began with the questions of why in the world would I plan to have a home birth. He then went on to tell me how bad of a condition Piper was in and how we put her life at risk. Can you believe it…here we are just going through all of this and he has the nerve to lecture us about his opinion!
Shortly after the pediatrician treating Piper came in and asked a few questions. At that point the 2 doctors begin to gang up on us and tell us that all of this could have been prevented if we had come to the hospital for the birth. I still am wondering how he planned on preventing her cord to knot while she was in the womb! The doctor went on to tell us that she was covered in macomium and it looked like she had been in it for a while. I told them that her heart rate was being monitored the whole time and never was there a sign that she was stressed. So then they tried to say that she must have been in the womb too long. Of course I was not going to try to argue God’s sovereignty at the time and try to convince them that she came at the time He saw fit. However I did inform them that my due date was just the day before. They of course wanted to believe that the due date was wrong.
Things got so bad with the first doctor that Blake had to tell him to keep his opinions to himself. That didn’t stop him though. He went on to examine me and asked if I tore during the delivery. I told him that I didn’t. He poked and prodded anyway. He then tried to say that it looked like I had a very small tear that might need 1 stitch. I said if it only needed 1 than I would rather not have any. He immediately said “Oh no, this bleeding is not going to stop…you need 3 stitches.” What a jerk! I knew he was just trying to be mean to me at that point. All it came down to is that he was upset because I choose a home birth and he didn’t agree with my decision. Of course he is out of business when women choose home births. He went on and gave me stitches, oh and he didn’t even wait for the numbing to begin before he started. He was very rough!
Before he was finished he decided that he should lecture us one more time about how we almost killed our daughter. Give me a break! We took every precaution possible and there was nothing we could have done to prevent what happened. Blake’s brother had a son that had a knot and he was born in a hospital…did they prevent that…No!
Finally the doctor left and the pediatrician came back to tell us that they were going to do an x-ray of Piper’s lungs to see if there was fluid in them. They were afraid that she sucked the maconium into her lungs and would get an infection. Other than that she was doing great. He said they had to put her on an IV and that they would have to bottle feed her that night. I told him that I did not want her to have a bottle because I was going to breastfeed her. He tried to tell me that she would need the fluids and they would not let me feed her. I asked why she would need it if she was on an IV. He never really responded to me.
He left then and a nurse came to ask me tons of questions. She was telling me how scared they all were when we came in. I guess they were ready to receive a baby not breathing. After the questions she helped me into the bathroom to get cleaned up. After that she moved us down the hall into another room.
We were the only patients on the floor so our 2 bed room was empty. I was thankful! I would have been miserable sharing a room with a stranger and Blake was able to sleep on the extra bed. Blake and his mom went to try to find the nursery to see if they would let them see Piper. I guess they got to see her through the window. We were told that it would be a while before we could see her and they would come and get me as soon as I could feed her. We were both so tired so we tried to get some rest. That was the worst night ever! I just wanted to see my baby girl. I was afraid I would have trouble bonding with her and getting her to breastfeed well because of this time apart. I could not sleep!
A few hours later it was early morning. I guess 6am or so. The nurse came in and told me that they were ready for me to try to feed her. We went down to the nursery and I finally got to hold her. She had so many cords attached to her it was terrible. All I wanted was to bring her into this world peacefully and hear she was being poked with everything. I finally got to hold her and feed her. The nurse in the nursery was wonderful and helpful. She was patient with me while I tried to figure out what we were doing. Piper took to me right away! I was so happy! But I didn’t completely feel like she was mine, I had to ask permission to do this or that with her because of all the monitors hooked to her. I tried to get Blake to hold her but he said he didn’t want to until she had everything off of her. He was afraid he would hurt her or pull something loose. It was very awkward trying to hold her and feed her with the IV! The nurse explained that she was improving greatly since she had come in but she had not urinated. They were getting really worried over that.
We stayed with her for a bit and then decided to go back to the room. We were both still so tired. We had not slept before so we ate some breakfast and tried to nap. About the time that I finally started to fall asleep the doctors came in. My doctor decided I needed some blood work done and came in to do that and lecture me some more. I was so tired of him telling us how he thought we were irresponsible and tried to kill our daughter. He then tried to push me to have her vaccinated for everything even though I had told him I didn’t want her to have any right now. He upset me so much I hardly remember everything he said to us. Blake finally had to say something to him again because he was really being a bully to me. He talked down to me far more than he did Blake.
Next Piper’s doctor came in. This time he was very nice to us. He said that her lungs had a little fluid in them when she came in but they were just fine now. He said everything was just fine with her except that she had not urinated. He informed us that he was going to have an ultrasound done so that he could make sure she had a bladder and that her kidneys were ok.
Our next visitor was a girl who worked for Social Services. We were being investigated over having a home birth! She was very nice but explained to us that the hospital did not thing that we were legally in our rights to have a home birth in the state of Kentucky. I told her that I did all of my homework and knew the laws regarding that. She said that she just didn’t know because she was new to her job and that she worked in a chiropractor’s office before. Then I recognized her, she worked in my chiropractor’s office. I told her that I had been seen by him through out my pregnancy. She said she thought she had recognized me too. We asked her what Social Services would do over our case and she said that if they felt the need to pursue it more they would probably want to do a home visit. I have nothing to hide…but I still did not want them “checking up” on us! I was so angry! But at the same time I knew that we had done nothing wrong and that they would have to dismiss our case. She said that the hospital was also afraid that our insurance would not cover the hospital stay because of the home birth. I told her that I had already checked with them just in case and they said they would. She told us that she would get back with us later that day before she left.
That put a damper on the rest of our day! We not only could not enjoy our baby girl but now had that hanging over our heads! Thankfully the next visitor was Piper! The nurse brought her in and said that all of her organs looked just fine! Now we just had to kep waiting for her to pee. They had taken everything off of her except the IV. I feed her again and she ate good! The nurse said that since she was eating so well she was going to call the doctor to see if he would take her off the IV.
We kept her in our room for a while. It was nice to have her to ourselves for once! The nurse came back after a bit to take Piper back to the nursery. When she brought her back they had taken her off of the IV but left the line in just in case she didn’t pee. Blake had to run home to get some things so I had some time with her by myself. It was nice but I really didn’t want him to leave! He was really worried about her and why she wasn’t urinating. There was still a peace about me that didn’t worry.
Leading up to giving birth I was really scared. I sought God in prayer so much and about 2 weeks before I had her I had a great peace that I just knew everything would be fine. God was in control and I was happy to let Him be! My baby girl was in His hands and I knew that she was safe there! But while Blake was gone I prayed over Piper. I asked God to let her pee so that Blake would not be scared or worried about her anymore.
Just about 30 minutes later the doctor came to check on her. He was getting ready to leave for the day and wanted to see if she had peed yet so that they could remove the IV altogether. He said that the nurse had been reporting great things about her all day. He checked her diaper and sure enough…she peed!!! He said he had no other worries about her now and we would be fine to go home as soon as we could! Our insurance required 2 days. I was so hoping it would only require one because I wanted to get home so bad!
The nurse took Piper and removed the IV. From that point on we were free to keep her in the room unless we wanted the nursery to take her. She was eating wonderfully and I didn’t need their help for anything. I kept her in my room that night. I didn’t sleep really good because the bed was terribly uncomfortable and I was hurting where I had the stitches. Piper slept most of the night.
The next day waited to her from Social Services. We heard nothing all day. My doctor came in briefly just because he had to for his daily rounds. He thankfully kept his mouth shut! We had a few visitors that day but for the most part it was quiet. The nurses didn’t bother us much because I would always tell them that we didn’t need anything. They were all very nice to us! I kept Piper in the room again that night. There came a point were I got very frustrated because I couldn’t get her to stop crying. All she wanted was to be held but I was too tired to hold her. I thought about sending her to the nursery so I could sleep but quickly told myself to get used to it now! Eventually I got a bit of sleep.
Finally it was our release day! We just had to wait for the doctors to come by and then do some paper work. Everything went pretty quick and we were ready to go. Blake asked the girl from Social Services to come and let us know what was going on because we had never heard anymore about our case. She said that everything was fine. She said that we didn’t do anything against the law so they were dropping the case. She said that she also called the chiropractor to ask him about me and he was happy to hear that we were doing well! Finally Blake could relax! He had been on edge the whole time because of everything.
We got out of there around noon that day. When we got home it was just weird. A good weird but weird. I had never been so happy to be home! I think we sat on the couch looking at Piper and wondering what we were going to do next!
I am so happy to be able to put that behind me! It really effected me in a weird way. Since I had not gotten to have that time with Piper right after she was born I had an empty space. It kind of left a hole in my heart. I tried to watch a birth story on tv shortly after having her and I found that I couldn’t watch the mother holding her baby after the birth. Even though she was fine I was really upset over having been robbed that time with her. I didn’t view her birth as a pleasant experience. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my labor! I loved the home birth and my midwife! I would not change any of that!!! I just hated not getting to hold Piper and feel that joy that I should have gotten to feel! I didn’t get to see that look on Blake’s face the first time he held her. Even now…5 months later, I feel empty there. I can’t write these things still without crying. This is why I have not wanted to finish this story! But this is our story, I have to accept it. I am just thankful that I had no problems bonding with Piper after not being with her the first 6 or so hours after she was born. She has been a wonderful baby and a joy! Thank you all for reading her story!